BY NICOLE SEQUINO

“We sometimes get a pretty strong sense of security by having this armor wrapped around us. The question is, would we be this aggressive if we didn’t have our cars?”

Car & Travel recently spoke with Jonathan Alpert, a licensed psychotherapist and advice columnist based in Manhattan who specializes in road rage cases. His columns have appeared in the LA Times and Metro newspapers, and he has appeared live on CBS and FOX News. Alpert discussed why road rage occurs, what other drivers can do to protect themselves from this aggressive behavior and how to manage stress behind the wheel.

Car & Travel: Why does road rage happen?

Jonathan Alpert: First, let me explain that there is a difference between aggressive driving and road rage. Road rage really is more severe, almost an assault; aggressive driving is a driver just being a jerk to other drivers on the road.

Road rage is the culmination of stress factors, and it becomes more of an expression on the part of the driver. It could be a simple misunderstanding between drivers or bad driving habits exhibited by one driver that sets another driver off. A driver reaches a threshold, a breaking point, and reacts by aggression.

If you look at the roadways, they are overcrowded and leave many drivers feeling frustrated in their cars. In experiments with mice, when they are crammed into a cage, they become anxious and aggressive. We’re not all that different. People can feel territorial when driving, in terms of having their personal space invaded, and that can be viewed as aggression.

Road rage doesn’t occur in a vacuum; the victim isn’t just some innocent driver. Usually, it results from a response to an action. The victim might have accidentally cut another driver off, and the assailant responds aggressively. A sort of cat and mouse game occurs, and the aggressive behavior escalates. So, the victim frequently participates in that process. And that gets back to the whole issue about our territorial behavior, the feeling that our personal space is being invaded.

C&T: What are some common driving behaviors that set off aggressive drivers or “road ragers”?

JA: Not using a blinker when changing lanes or making a turn, cutting in front of another driver, driving slowly or competing for parking spaces are some examples. An overly aggressive driver takes these behaviors personally and reacts with anger and emotion.

C&T: What do you do if you encounter an overly aggressive driver?

JA: Be mindful that your driving style might contribute to it. Drive safely. Try not to react to an aggressive driver, because that escalates the problem. Making eye contact personalizes things and could result in a confrontation with an aggressive driver. Therefore, avoid eye contact. Try not to accelerate or brake quickly—it could be conceived as aggressive behavior. Don’t open your windows or your doors; leave space between you and the other car. If you are harassed, drive to the nearest police station or firehouse, somewhere that is safe.

C&T: How did you come to specialize in road rage therapy?

JA: It happened just by chance. During a session with a couple, the wife expressed concern about her husband’s driving during their weekend trips, which she said often lead to problems in their relationship. Also, she referred one of her friends to me for similar driving behavior. Another patient e-mailed me a question about road rage in my weekly newspaper column. One thing led to another.

C&T: How can “road ragers” improve their behavior?

JA: Make sure you’re physically comfortable behind the wheel. If you’re not, you might increase your stress and frustration, and that will affect the way you drive. Also, make sure your windshield is clean: If there’s dirt or snow, you may strain your eyes trying to drive, and this could lead to fatigue and stress. Know the route you’re planning to drive on; it won’t help the situation if you don’t know where you’re going or if you get lost or are late for your appointment.

Ask yourself some key questions: What are your expectations? Are they realistic? Do you expect to drive 500 miles in a day? Also, allow yourself a cushion of time to arrive at your destination. If you need to get to midtown Manhattan by 9 a.m., give yourself enough time to get there. Take frequent breaks. It’s recommended that you rest after traveling for two or three hours. Eat lightly before your trip, so you have enough energy. Grip the steering wheel softly. Try relaxation techniques, such as dropping your shoulders, loosening up your shoulders and neck. Try breathing deeply and healthily (as opposed to short, rapid breathing); crack the windows a little in order to allow in fresh air. Listen to audio books or soft music.

Change your thinking. If you didn’t have your car’s armor for protection, and you were walking down the street and someone bumped into you, would you start a confrontation? We sometimes get a pretty strong sense of security by having this armor wrapped around us. The question is, would we be this aggressive if we didn’t have our cars?

The point is that all of the things I’m suggesting will contribute to healthier driving habits. Don’t personalize things. Just because someone cuts you off doesn’t mean they meant to do it deliberately. Consider other possible reasons why people might have been aggressive or have cut you off. Maybe it’s a doctor in an emergency, or a mother trying to get home to their child.

Don’t judge a person by a car, either: If we see someone driving a Hummer—and it is a pretty aggressive-looking car— remember that it’s just a car. Other things to consider: What do I gain by being angry? What does it do for me? What’s the worst case scenario? I’m late for work?

The point is that you have to understand that many things on the road aren’t controllable, so you must focus on what is in your control. Drive safely.

© 2015 TLC Magazine Online, Inc.